I said, "Oh, no. You shouldn't let anyone touch your butt. That's a secret spot."
He said, "No its not! I seen it before!"
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Yes, his response raises a chuckle, but how funny is it, really? Not much... His innocent comments got me to thinking about something much direr. Something that's not discussed enough. Something that, many times, isn't discussed at all... especially when it refers to the subject that this brought up in my mind... This subject? Someone is sexually assaulted every two minutes in the United States. Out of those untold "someones," several are children.
Do you teach your children about sexual predators? Are you helping them understand the difference between what's an "okay" touch and what's not? Are you telling them what to do should someone touch them in a "secret spot" or if someone says something like, "This will be our little secret..."?
There was a study conducted by the director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center, David Finkerlhor. It found several different facts that are stunning:
😡 One part of this study confronted adults about what they remembered about their childhood experiences. According to this study, 20% of the women and 5-10% of the men confronted were victims of sexual abuseas children.
😡 The most vulnerable years for children are between the ages of 7 and 13 years old.
😡 Among those 14 to 17 years old, 16% were sexually victimized just in the year of this study alone!
Just to let you know, these statistics are for AMERICA! To make matters worse, you must remember that not every case is caught. Of those caught by family members, several are never reported to the police even to be added to these statistics. Why? (1) Embarrassment and (2) most sexual abuse incidents are done by someone the child knows and loves.
There was a study conducted by the director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center, David Finkerlhor. It found several different facts that are stunning:
😡 One part of this study confronted adults about what they remembered about their childhood experiences. According to this study, 20% of the women and 5-10% of the men confronted were victims of sexual abuseas children.
😡 The most vulnerable years for children are between the ages of 7 and 13 years old.
😡 Among those 14 to 17 years old, 16% were sexually victimized just in the year of this study alone!
Just to let you know, these statistics are for AMERICA! To make matters worse, you must remember that not every case is caught. Of those caught by family members, several are never reported to the police even to be added to these statistics. Why? (1) Embarrassment and (2) most sexual abuse incidents are done by someone the child knows and loves.
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
So, how do we keep our children from becoming a statistic?
📝 Learn what you can about sexual abuse. This may be hard for you. Many of you may have been through sexual abuse yourself. Even if you haven't, the very thought of your baby being molested, or even raped, is hard to bear. It's a very hard subject, but it's a subject that must be covered in today's world. It's a subject you must know something about if you're going to protect your daughter and, yes, even your son.
It's never too early to begin teaching them, either. It's important to know that 20% of all sexually abused children are abused before they turn eight years old! An excellent place to start learning is Darkness To Light.
📝 Teach your children that sometimes even people they love and trust can hurt them. In fact, about 60% of children are abused by someone they trust, whether it be a teacher, parent, uncle, cousin, or someone else. Teach them what their secret spots are and that it's not okay for anyone to touch them in their secret spots... even people they love and trust.
📝 Always know where your children are and who they're with. Don't just know who they're with, but know the people they're with. Are they safe to be around? How do you know? List the reasons. Remember the "60%" factor? I don't mean to make you paranoid, but just make sure you know the people your kids are with.
📝 Don't leave your older child with just one adult--even if your child is with a group of peers. Adults sometimes take liberties with older children that they might not with younger ones. We've seen a lot of this lately with many of the teacher/student cases. Teach your children how sex offenders groom their victims to trust them and then lure them into a relationship. Teach them how they then take advantage of them. Grooming is a very real thing, and our older children need to know what it is and how to avoid it.
Another reason to make sure your child (whether young or older) isn't with a group of other children with only one adult present is that other children can be the abusers as well! If there's only one supervising adult, things are easily missed. Forty percent of sexually abused children are found to be abused by older or stronger children or teens! Almost half of the abused children under the age of six are abused by juveniles. Believe it or not, 14% of those juvenile offenders are under the age of twelve!
📝 Talk with your kiddos about their day. Ask them how it went, what they did, and what they saw. You want your children to know they can talk to you about anything and everything. Your young children might not know when to run from an adult or how to say "no." They might be too scared to tell anyone when someone starts making advances. You can stop it before it gets anywhere.
Older children need to know they can trust you to keep their secrets, to understand their dilemmas, and to be there to answer their questions and help them solve problems. They need to know you won't judge them. They need to know they can come to you if they feel uncomfortable around someone or if someone tries to hurt them or does hurt them. They need to know you'll be there for them. If you're not there for them in the little things, what makes you think they'll come to you with the big things?
📝 Know how to spot the signs of abuse. They're not always obvious. Unless you know what you're looking for, you might never catch them. You may even think your child or teen is just acting out" or "going through a phase."
What are these signs?
🛑Significant changes in mood;
🛑Significant changes in sleep patterns;
🛑Significant changes in eating habits;
🛑Strange behavior that doesn't quickly resolve.
If your child comes to you and says there's something going on, get help right away even if the abuser is a family member! Odds are, if your child claims there's abuse happening, there really is. There's only a 4-8% chance that the story is made up. Also, do not try to investigate it on your own!
📝 If your child is abused, get him or her into therapy right away. There are many options. Schools have mental health programs available where therapists are made available at all times. There are therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists. Your child needs all the help he or she deserves, and I know you'll make sure it's received.
Again, I know this is a hard subject, but it's something that must be addressed. Please, I beg of you, address it with your children! It's never too early, but, one day, it may be too late.
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